Each & every word that you had said before still lingers in my mind .
Sometimes, I do wonder how much I really mean to you despite you telling me how much I do .
You yourself know that Im always there for you no matter what, seeing you through all your difficulties & so .
Tell me, since when have I not lent you a shoulder or a listening ear when you needed it?
Yet this time you said you were disappointed with me cause I was outside when you needed me?
& What exactly do you mean by saying give each other time?
Cmon, you were the one who chose to meet someone else that day .
You KNEW that friday was our day, it always has been .
Since you made the decision to meet someone else, fine I respect it .
But does that mean I have no rights to go out on my own too?
Am I supposed to wait at home faithfully for your call after you've had your share of enjoyment?
You called me & asked me where I was, I told you & you hanged the phone just like that .
Im not god you know, I cant tell when you're sad unless you tell me .
Are you being fair to me when you claim you're disappointed in me just because I didnt know what you were going through?
You didnt say anything about being upset so how am I suppose to console you?
I want to dote on you so much, but you're the one who keeps pushing me away .
Speaking of disappointment, ask yourself in turn, what have you done for me when I really needed someone?
If you are disappointed in me for something like this, shouldnt I be worse off?
Times when I was down, you knew yet you didnt do anything .
You keep claiming that you want so much to cheer me up, but you dont know how .
But why is it, I may ask you, that you KNOW how to cheer those "friends" of yours (you know who Im referring to) when they are down but not me?
Yet, regardless of how disappointed I was in you, I didnt blame you did I?
However, what you're trying to do now, what with the "give us some time, in time to come, we'll meet up soon" , would you ever do this to them?
No, you would never choose to leave them if not for them leaving you first .
Think for yourself, who was there for you when you had no-one?
I drifted with my own group of friends just for the sake of you .
You could say there wasnt a need to, but I did it all willingly, just to accompany you .
But now, you are the one who has chosen to leave .
So what's the point of telling me you wont let go of this friendship unless I do?
Have I? Tell me what exactly did I do wrong to cause such unhappiness in you?
YOU DIDNT EVEN TELL ME THAT YOU WERE UPSET & IM NOT SUPPOSED TO ENJOY MYSELF?
What logic is that seriously?
You yourself know that people were talking about how much I dote on you & stuff .
Even others can tell so why cant you?
All were saying that it was in vain & you wouldnt know how to appreciate it, taking advantage of me & so .
But can you tell me why I didnt choose to believe their words?
Its because I love you, & with love there's trust .
I choose to believe in you, believe that you werent the type of person they thought you were .
But time & time again you proved their words right .
No matter how tired I was, I didnt want to give up .
Can you even imagine how they would be like if they knew what happened?
After receiving your message, I tried to act as if nothing happened & keep everything normal .
I called you like usual, but was treated with a bucket of cold water .
Look at the tone you use to message me , "keep to myself"?
What kind of language is this?
Dont blame me for comparing, but I just cant help it .
You wouldnt even dream of messaging this to others .
Its because its ME, thats why you are doing this .
You know how much I dote on you & stuff, you know I wouldnt bear to hurt you .
I cant help it but think that their words are true at times .
Cant be blamed, you are the one who proved their words right .
Only you can feel for yourself how much I really loved you .
Please be fair to me, ponder over my words & think it through .
If you really did treasure our friendship so much like how you claimed, you wouldnt be doing all these things to me .
Think of the many months I was with you when you were alone .
Think of all the many things I did for you w/o complaint, & the many places I accompanied you to .
I dont wish to say any further, if you think that you have really given your very best for me, so be it .
If leaving is the only way out, I have nothing else to say either .
Show me for once, that you do care & all is not at lost .
Afterall, who could ever love you & understand you more than I did?