Each & every word that you had said before still lingers in my mind .
Sometimes, I do wonder how much I really mean to you despite you telling me how much I do .
You yourself know that Im always there for you no matter what, seeing you through all your difficulties & so .
Tell me, since when have I not lent you a shoulder or a listening ear when you needed it?
Yet this time you said you were disappointed with me cause I was outside when you needed me?
& What exactly do you mean by saying give each other time?
Cmon, you were the one who chose to meet someone else that day .
You KNEW that friday was our day, it always has been .
Since you made the decision to meet someone else, fine I respect it .
But does that mean I have no rights to go out on my own too?
Am I supposed to wait at home faithfully for your call after you've had your share of enjoyment?
You called me & asked me where I was, I told you & you hanged the phone just like that .
Im not god you know, I cant tell when you're sad unless you tell me .
Are you being fair to me when you claim you're disappointed in me just because I didnt know what you were going through?
You didnt say anything about being upset so how am I suppose to console you?
I want to dote on you so much, but you're the one who keeps pushing me away .
Speaking of disappointment, ask yourself in turn, what have you done for me when I really needed someone?
If you are disappointed in me for something like this, shouldnt I be worse off?
Times when I was down, you knew yet you didnt do anything .
You keep claiming that you want so much to cheer me up, but you dont know how .
But why is it, I may ask you, that you KNOW how to cheer those "friends" of yours (
you know who Im referring to) when they are down but not me?
Yet, regardless of how disappointed I was in you, I didnt blame you did I?
However, what you're trying to do now, what with the "
give us some time, in time to come, we'll meet up soon" , would you ever do this to them?
No, you would never choose to leave them if not for them leaving you first .
Think for yourself, who was there for you when you had no-one?
I drifted with my own group of friends just for the sake of you .
You could say there wasnt a need to, but I did it all willingly, just to accompany you .
But now, you are the one who has chosen to leave .
So what's the point of telling me you wont let go of this friendship unless I do?
Have I? Tell me what exactly did I do wrong to cause such unhappiness in you?
YOU DIDNT EVEN TELL ME THAT YOU WERE UPSET & IM NOT SUPPOSED TO ENJOY MYSELF?
What logic is that seriously?
You yourself know that people were talking about how much I dote on you & stuff .
Even others can tell so why cant you?
All were saying that it was in vain & you wouldnt know how to appreciate it, taking advantage of me & so .
But can you tell me why I didnt choose to believe their words?
Its because I love you, & with love there's trust .
I choose to believe in you, believe that you werent the type of person they thought you were .
But time & time again you proved their words right .
No matter how tired I was, I didnt want to give up .
Can you even imagine how they would be like if they knew what happened?
After receiving your message, I tried to act as if nothing happened & keep everything normal .
I called you like usual, but was treated with a bucket of cold water .
Look at the tone you use to message me , "
keep to myself"?
What kind of language is this?
Dont blame me for comparing, but I just cant help it .
You wouldnt even dream of messaging this to others .
Its because its
ME, thats why you are doing this .
You know how much I dote on you & stuff, you know I wouldnt bear to hurt you .
I cant help it but think that their words are true at times .
Cant be blamed, you are the one who proved their words right .
Only you can feel for yourself how much I really loved you .
Please be fair to me, ponder over my words & think it through .
If you really did treasure our friendship so much like how you claimed, you wouldnt be doing all these things to me .
Think of the many months I was with you when you were alone .
Think of all the many things I did for you w/o complaint, & the many places I accompanied you to .
I dont wish to say any further, if you think that you have really given your very best for me, so be it .
If leaving is the only way out, I have nothing else to say either .
Show me for once, that you do care & all is not at lost .
Afterall, who could ever love you & understand you more than I did?