Fcuked up life .

I mean it .
Feeling so down out of the blue .
Friends? Life?
God why am I stuck in this shithole of endless problems .
People constantly saying they'll be there for you whenever they're down .
Are these words really meant to be?
Or are they merely words meant to console you .
Sometimes I really wonder,
Do I have true friends?
Or even friends?
Who can I run to when Im down?
Who can I turn to when Im feeling weak?
Tell me the answer guys .
I feel so empty, so lonely deep down .
Sure I can turn to my parents,
With my mom & her random moodswings, fretting over her own problems .
Or my dad? Who's saddled up with his never ending pile of work,
Constantly shuttling between his businesses in China & Spore .
What do you think?
My close friends? The ones whom are always with me?
I guess none of them do understand the problems Im going through .
Everyone needs a someone to be there sometimes .
However strong a person will fall one day .
As for me, having to go through all these problems Im facing,
& Continue to plaster on a smile every day is such a tough chore for me .
Facing everything alone, this is a one man show .
Forget it people, I have to get back on my feet soon enough I guess .
That's just the way it is .
The world doesnt move slow enough for me to keep up with it .
I do have to get back to reality someday afterall .


Thoroughly disappointed with you .
Thought that you would be the one to shoulder it with me,
Yet what I received was disappointment .
Whenever you're feeling unhappy,
I would always try my best to cheer you up & talk things with you .
I would explain everything to you, make you see the brighter side of life .
However when it comes to me,
You merely brushed off my problems,
As though it were a speck of dust by saying It aint a big deal .
To me, it really is a big deal .
Perhaps only YOUR problems would seem a big deal to you, & mine doesnt matter .
But that's just not the way things work .
I wonder how much I really mean to you despite you always telling me how much I do .
I dare say you do mean the world to me,
I try to give you my best in everything but what I receve from you is not the same .
You have no idea how much hurt you inflicted on me .
Like what I said, do I really deserve to be treated this way?
I should think not .
Selflessly giving up everything for you, I do it willingly .
Yet just to play a small part on your side is so difficult .
I just cant seem to understand why .
It hurts, it really does .


Gladys : Hi dumbo! Miss you la .
Siman : Yes la . Know you the best la sis .
Anonymous : I'll update when there's stuff for me to . You can add me on msn if you want, beats talking through chatbox yea?
Amicell : Hello! :D
Anonymous : Its T-shirt by Shontelle .